Does God Hate Rick Perry?

You have to wonder. In April, Mr. Perry responded to the drought that had stricken Texas for several months by calling on Texans to join him in praying for rain. Now I don’t expect much from politicians in general, and I certainly don’t expect them to be able to make it rain, so I guess I can’t get too worked up if one decides to try a “hail Mary” play on the off chance that it might help.

So how did that work out, exactly? Well, take a look at the drought map put out Thursday Aug. 25 by the good folks at the National Drought Mitigation Center affiliated with the University of Nebraska:


Looks like Texas is on somebody’s shit list. It’s the droughtiest spot in the country, the bull’s eye of dry. It is clearly being singled out for special treatment, but not the treatment that was prayed for. Pretty much the exact opposite, as a matter of fact. Instead of more rain, Texas got more drought. Hmmm. Well we know God couldn’t have confused “more rain” with “less rain,” and even Rick Perry supporters know the difference between wet and dry. What could’ve happened? Since we have no doubt that God listens to Rick Perry’s prayers, looks pretty likely She’s peeved with Rick and is taking it out on Texas. Not only Texas, but the rest of us as well. The East is getting flooded out with extra rain that must’ve been due Texas. If that’s what happens when Perry prays for Texas, do we want him praying for the whole country when he’s in charge? I pray that doesn’t happen.


So, I read that the hero of the South, Rick Perry, has as one of his main platforms repeal of the Affordable Care Act, which he charitably refers to as “Obamacare.” He and all the other Republicans who bandy this term about seem to think it’s a smart move on their part to link President Obama very tightly to health care reform. That way, all the people who would’ve gotten thrown off their health insurance plan for getting too sick, or who got too sick to work and then couldn’t buy coverage at any price would know who to blame for them still being able to get medical care. Good idea, Republicans. For once I agree with you. Mr. Obama deserves full credit for being the first president in American history to get a majority (barely) of Congress to agree that civilized countries ensure their citizens are cared for when they are hurt or sick, rather than the “survival of the richest” medical plan that is the essence of Republican health care policy. Yes, this is Obama’s care plan and I thank him for it. You will too if you lose your job and then get sick.

 Oh, we can’t afford it? I say we can’t afford foreign wars that attempt to reform the unreformable and a war machine that can fight any country anywhere anytime that we say threatens our “interests”. We can’t afford to have multi-billion dollar corporations pay little or no taxes just so their leaders and owners will donate to right-wing candidates (to be fair, they’d donate to left wing candidates that would also maintain their breaks). Let’s take care of Americans for a while.

Rick Perry, Savior of the South

Latest in the parade of good-looking white people who want to be the Republican candidate for president of the United States is someone who isn’t always sure he even wants to be part of the United States. Of course, it’s already mandatory that Republican candidates to run the government must not believe there should even be government. Except for the military. That’s like a candidate for school superintendent running on a platform of closing the school but keeping the football team. Oh wait, that’s probably a common position in Texas. Anyway, given that incongruity, it’s a minor step for Republicans to run a candidate to lead the country whose response to not getting what he wants is to break up the country. The candidate, of course, is Rick Perry—he of the secession talk in 2009, in which he declared Texas’ right to leave the USA should it so choose. Of course, maybe as a true-blooded Southerner he was just feeling mournful about how poorly it worked out for them the last time they tried that. Well, I feel for him, and I’m willing to review the results of the War Between the States on not-so-instant replay and…declare victory for the South. You won. You’re free to go, along with your anti-evolution, why do we need a central bank, keep the brown people out, slavery wasn’t really so bad candidates. And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.